Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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