In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
