Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
