The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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