Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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