Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize