You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
