I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
