so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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