waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
