We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
3 2 1 whiskey
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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