So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
