I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
