Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
