Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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