Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
