Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
