her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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