That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
