He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
