everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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