Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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