Don't you send me to vm
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
