He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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