sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize