ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
