all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think people are normalizing furries
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
