Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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