he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize