Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
