you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
