I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come share oat with me in your robe
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
