Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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