Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
