Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
