just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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