Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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