Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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