I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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