I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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