When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
