i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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