They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
