Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
