How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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