remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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