Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
