im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am mentally ready for anal.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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