I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
