Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
