I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize