hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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