Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
