It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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