$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize