That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
