I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
