yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
