What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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