Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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