How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
then he tried to convert me to islam
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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